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Week 5: Response from
Rabbi Mary Zamore |
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In this piece Rav Kook discusses two types of teshuva -- sudden and gradual. The later is clearly the teshuvah to which we normally refer. At the season we are instructed to undertake the process of Heshbon haNefesh, the spiritual accounting of the soul. We take stock of our lives and actions trying to figure out how we have missed the mark (perhaps, a better image than sinned) and we set ourselves on a better path. As Rav Kook puts it, we strive for "the high level of refinement and perfection."
And yet, Rav Kook describes a higher model of teshuvah -- the sudden teshuvah. It is the lightening bolt type of insight that ultimately defies description. In this moment of teshuvah we recognize and connect to God and all which is connected to God -- which, of course, is everything. At this time of ultimate clarity we see the goodness and righteousness within ourselves.
Perhaps, it would be easy to misinterpret Rav Kook's words. Are we to set aside gradual teshuvah in the hope that sudden teshuvah will strike us at any time? In other words, are we to skip Rosh haShanah and Yom Kippur and go about our lives because sudden teshuvah will eventually hit us out of the blue? It sounds nice doesnt it. Skip all of the hard soul searching and even the inconvenient fasting and wait for the spiritual lightening to strike. Well, that would be akin to quitting your job, buying a lottery ticket and waiting to get rich. Maybe possible, but really unlikely. I believe gradual teshuvah primes us for the sudden. The key line is, "The only limit to this illumination is the limit placed upon it by your own heart, for you cannot grasp more than your heart is ready to absorb." The more gradual, conscious, teshuvah we do, the more we can take advantage of those rare moments of insight, inspired by God, that we experience and arise transformed. May the hard work of repentenance and introspection in which we engage at this season prepare us for beautiful, rich moments of spiritual insight.
Temple Emanu-El -- Westfield, New Jersey
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